There’s still plenty of time to get everything you need for Thanksgiving, so no need to throw punches in the grocery store. Try telling that to a group of Wisconsin women, though, whose scuffle in the aisles became a full-fledged, pre-Thanksgiving brawl.

Bacon wrestling! Projectile yogurt! A flying frozen turkey! This supermarket skirmish had it all.

Police in Madison, Wisconsin report that it all happened last week at a Woodman’s grocery store in the state capital. “Two groups of women went at it last week near the meat counter,” the police incident report reads.

It started last Tuesday evening, when a group of four women doing their grocery shopping happened upon two other women, with whom they had an “ongoing dispute about money”. Police say one of the group of four apparently tried to resolve that dispute, by pepper-spraying her two adversaries in the face.

That’s when the gloves came off, and the food came out – of their shopping carts.


“One combatant armed herself with a frozen turkey,” police said. She swung it at her foes, then tossed it at them.

It was at this point that an onlooker called 911. In response, one of the women threw a strawberry yogurt at his head.

As the fight escalated, the warring women began trading punches and knocked over a pallet “holding eight large boxes of bacon.” Two of the women ended up “rolling around on the same floor with the yogurt and bacon.”

By the time police arrived, most of the scrappers had scattered. One woman was cited for disorderly conduct, but the others got away – leaving stunned shoppers and a big mess behind.

So be warned: if you find yourself an unsuspecting dinner guest of one of these supermarket sluggers, you may want to think twice before critiquing her cooking.

And whatever you do, don’t ask her to pass the pepper.

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